I imagine a heaven, in order to escape this hell. I am aware of the truth, as the pain it causes is inescapable. It is of my own choice that I create these dreams, and it is my own choice whether or not I abandon them. I am allowed to dream of sweet love, to help endure bitter hatred. I am allowed to have my own sanctuary, even on that is only in my mind. Some do not understand why I would create a lie, in order to keep myself sane enough to bare the worlds truths. And I could never explain to those people why I day dream. And I do not think I need to. So what if I dream of a life I will never live, it does not harm anyone. Some tell me to pull my head out of the clouds, but they do not understand that the ground I walk on is in flames. They do not understand that in order to survive hell one must believe in a heaven. It does not change my reality, but it allows me to hope that a better one will come about. But my reasons do not matter, they are mine. And I ask that no one tell me I should not allow myself these fantasies, because it is not and has never been their decision.